Are You the One Getting in the Way of Your Dreams

It’s all over the national news that Demi Moore is being clinically treated for exhaustion. She realized she couldn’t do it on her own, so she had to call on professionals. Moore recently told Harper’s Bazaar she has a “love-hate” relationship with her body and fears she’s unlovable.

“What scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not loveable, that I’m not worthy of being loved,” she said in an interview for the February edition.

Sad to see anyone go through this process: to be afraid that you are “unlovable” and “not worthy of being loved”. Let’s face it, if it’s not for LOVE, then why are we here? We aren’t here for this little snippet of time to be stressed, unhappy or living in a body or life we do not feel is right for us. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal. We don’t get another round after rehearsal to do the things we really wanted to do, or be the person we wanted to be.

How many times have you told yourself that you need to eat better, exercise more regularly, cut down on your stress, make more time to relax, make more time for your relationships, figure out your finances or get to the bottom of some of your aches, pains and fatigue?

These are all thoughts that many of us have on a daily basis, and there’s one underlying theme in all these thoughts: OURSELVES! We are the only one’s that can take the desire to become the people we want to be, in the life we want to live and turn that into reality. Easier said than done, right? Wrong. The root of creating the impetus for change lies in our thought! It’s that simple. Read on…

We cannot control the weather. We cannot control if someone is to cut us off in traffic. We cannot control if our car is to suddenly croak. We cannot control if the people we work with are going to call in sick and create a more hectic day for us. We cannot control a power outage that shuts down our computers. What can we control? OUR THOUGHTS!

So, follow me here…what needs to happen is a rewiring of a sort in our brains. Every time we send a message via our thoughts, every cell in our body resonates that thought. You send a positive thought, full body positive reaction. You send a negative thought, full body negative reaction. The constant stream of negative thought is called the ‘negative feedback loop’ and this type of thinking becomes habitual at the source: our brain. We CAN rewire out thinking. But how do we do it?! How do we rewire our thinking?

Our first step is to develop a new neural pathway and research shows that after as little as 7 days we can begin to start our brains on the path of having ‘habitual’ positive thoughts instead of ‘habitual’ negative thoughts.

So, what if we changed this thought, to that thought? Instead of, “Oh, man…I know I should exercise today but I just don’t feel like it and quite frankly I don’t even like it. But, it if I don’t do it, I’ll feel fat, lazy and unworthy….” And the thought goes into action.

Rewired thought, “Wow, I get to exercise today! I am healthy and able and I will feel great after exercise. I am worth it. C’mon let’s do it!!” And the thought goes into action!

We can do this with every aspect of life, but we need to use a few simple tools to get to the source of the negative feedback loop:

1. Commit to seven days: You may feel like a fraud in the beginning of this process and you can laugh at yourself while you start to rewire your thoughts if you feel completely off your rocker. It’s better to laugh at yourself then to scowl and tell yourself you’re a freak for trying this. But, seriously, commit to just seven days.

2. Recognize your negative thoughts: The second you have a negative thought. Recognize it, but don’t react to it. Replace it immediately with a louder more positive thought. Scream it if you need to in your head. Say it audibly. Whatever it takes, replace that thought immediately. Don’t let it resonate in your brain, cells and body.

3. Look for patterns: Are there places in your life, such as work/your in-laws house/certain situations with friends that habitually generate negative thoughts? Is there a certain time of day that you tend to be more negative? Why do you let your self esteem get the best of you at these times/places. Eventually, you’ll determine which of these situations/relationships are manageable by changing your thought pattern, and which of these relationships just don’t behoove you.

4. If you must spend time with negative thinkers, don’t try to change them: Just listen politely – but do not accept what they say. Mentally tell yourself that you choose to reject this type of thinking. When you stop responding to other people’s negativity and just remain quiet, but respectful they eventually start to hear the hollowness of their own words and change – at least around you anyway.

5. Start your day with a positive thought: Your alarm goes off, immediately say something positive about the day. Something as simple as, “I’m alive! Let’s do this thing!”  How dreadful to start the day as soon as the alarm goes off with this thought, “Oh, c’mon. Do I really have to do this. I’m tired and yesterday sucked. What the heck…” That first thought of the day is crucial to starting your day off right!!!

Reality: if life, love and the dreams and desires we have for ourselves depend on this one tool, why wouldn’t we give it a try for seven days? If after seven days, we’re moving in the direction of health, happiness and forward motion, haven’t we given ourselves the biggest gift of all: the chance to live this one shot at LIFE we were given to the fullest, not as a dress rehearsal!

You are worth it!

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